Author Comment
Turtle God Kame
the chosen infected
(7/8/02 9:38:50 pm)
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Just clearin it all up...
for those of you who wondered... this is the difference between americans, aussies, brits, and canadians... (from thehumorarchives.com)

Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves.
Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.

Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.

Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 4 channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.

Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they played them in.
Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English."
Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English."
Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.
Aussies: Add "G'day", "mate," and a heavy accent to everything they say

Aussies: Are extremely patriotic about their beer.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them.
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.

Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer.
Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer.
Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss.
Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.

Brits: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their past citizens.
Americans: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their present citizens.
Canadians: Prattle on about how some of those great Americans were once Canadian.
Aussies: Waffle on about how some of their past citizens were once Outlaw Pommies, but none of that matters after several beers.

Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.

Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters and are proud of it.
Brits: Endure oppressively wet and dreary winters and are proud of it.
Americans: Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less.
Aussies: Don't understand what inclement weather means.

Aussies: Have produced comedians like Paul Hogan and Yahoo Serious.
Canadians: Have produced many great comedians, like John Candy, Martin Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
Americans: Think that these people are American!
Brits: Have produced many great comedians, but Americans ignore them because they don't understand subtle humour.

Go to Kame's House for assorted junk! Last upd8: 7/08/02

Disco Supafly
the chosen infected
(7/8/02 10:01:26 pm)
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Re: Just clearin it all up...
Haw haw haw haw haw!!! Can't find any faults there, mate! Now if you'll excuse me - I'm gonna down several beers ...



Oh, PS: Crickey!

Great Horror
manipulator of the Virus
(7/9/02 4:42:28 am)
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Re: Just clearin it all up...
ive only read half of that sh*t, coz its dumb. by the way, its 5 channels now, and it shows late night pornos. UK WIN!

Hail To The Horror, Baby

Disco Supafly
the chosen infected
(7/9/02 9:18:28 am)
Reply
Re: Just clearin it all up...
Aww, I dunno Gibal! Australia seemed to fair pretty well in that write-up! (wouldn't want to be a Canadian, though ...) ;)

Gibal Sandwich
manipulator of the Virus
(7/9/02 9:22:55 am)
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Re: Just clearin it all up...
That is funny and true. Wow - i feel proud of myself now - no longer do i have o hide about my drinking of urine -=- okay - i do !! I DRINK PISS!!!1

.....or is that McEwana larger...

Disco Supafly
the chosen infected
(7/9/02 9:39:38 am)
Reply
Re: Just clearin it all up...
Speaking of surveys on other nationalities, I'm assuming there is FHM (For Him Magazine) in other countries apart from Australia? Well anyway, we'd compiled all these studies from other countires including Oz for a sex survey about various topics, right? Ok, so generally the pattern seemed that Ukranians had the biggest d*cks and that as a result, when asked if dudes were happy with the equipment they were carrying - the Ukraine had the highest satisfaction rating. There were various other things, like asking the chicks if they'd ever been with another chick. You know, that sort of thing ...

But what I REALLY found worrying was this: The question towards men was that "Have you ever had sexual relations with another man". Ok, Oz and the Ukrain were about the lowest there, with America slightly above. But this is the clincher - 87% of all German men said they've gone down the dirt track with another Kraut! Ewwwwww!!! Eww! Eww! Eww!
What the F*CK is wrong with those Germans? Almost the entire population is secretly butt-plugging their best mate? No wonder they lost the damn war!!! :lol

Turtle God Kame
the chosen infected
(7/9/02 9:47:40 am)
Reply
XD
sorry if this was a stupid little list, I thought it'd cheer up some peeps! oh well...

somehow I didnt doubt germany being #1 in gays... I mean... look at em! hehe, actually, I thought the french were #1... but I bet they ranked high >)

and yes, we do have magazines for men... they're called playboy here...

Go to Kame's House for assorted junk! Last upd8: 7/08/02

Gibal Sandwich
manipulator of the Virus
(7/9/02 9:56:24 am)
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Re: XD
Hmm id have to disagree with the thing about germans - after al - i know of some germans that are okay .... but after meeting someone called daemion id say my it becomes alittle more believable.. as for FHM we do have that here - or should i say just under a stack of papers here...

Disco Supafly
the chosen infected
(7/9/02 9:59:16 am)
Reply
Re: XD
Yeah, we all know Playboy, bro. "Playboy - helping you see your childhood crush's neumatically enhanced boobies since 1953"!

Actually, I always thought that Thailand would have the highest number of dung-punchers. Gawd, I mean - 50% of the male population there has gone the "chop" and is now a kickboxing she-man! Tragic, but true ...

Double Helix
manipulator of the Virus
(7/9/02 2:06:45 pm)
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Re: XD
I always though Americans though Brits (well English folks anyway) were gay. I know for a fact some do anyway.

I was in the States last year visiting a mate in Huntsville and I popped into a petrol station to buy some fags and forgot my passport (they ID everyone there!) so I left and got my then-girlfriend (who's American) to go in. The two inbreds behind the counter were chatting: 'was he foreign?', 'no, he must be gay'. Now, my voice is averagely pitched fer a bloke and my accent isn't posh (though it is kinda 'recieved pronuciation' neutral) and I don't act camp - though this was Alabama so...

(okay, I've just read that though, and just to clarify - no I didn't go in and ask for 'fags'. Their confusion over my sexuality was apparently all down to my dodgy accent)

somrux
manipulator of the Virus
(7/9/02 2:16:50 pm)
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Well, dude...
Dude, you were in Alabama! 'Nuff said...

I have a buddy who used to live in Alabama, and after hearing all of his stories, we began to call the State of Alabama "Crack-a-bama".

You do the math: Alabama + Crack Cocaine = Crack-a-bama.

Ukranians having big weiners? Dude, everyone knows that Ukranians are well known for their deceitful lies and dodgy tendancies!! I should say "Just kidding", before I piss some lurking Ukranian off.

Again.

-somrux.

Great Horror
manipulator of the Virus
(7/9/02 2:30:52 pm)
Reply
Re: Well, dude...
Disco, FHM was invented by the UK, then every other country stole it and made there own FHM! Ive read FHM USA and man, it sucks!

TGH is nWo 4-Life!

Double Helix
manipulator of the Virus
(7/9/02 2:44:13 pm)
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Re: Well, dude...
I started to think about all the British stuff America takes, remakes and ruins and then I remembered British McDonalds, Brighton Belles and Gladiators:0

(Cultural:) note: Brighton Belles was a British remake of the Golden Girls and was every bit as awful as I imagine the US versions of Men Behving Badly, As If, Faulty Towers etc. were. In fact I've just heard HBO have bought the rights to make a US version of 'I'm Alan Partridge'. God that is going to suck:) )

The Binman
citizen of the Loopworld
(7/9/02 3:14:06 pm)
Reply
Re: Well, dude...
American "I'm Alan Partridge"? Oh christ, I feel sick now.
What next, American "Brass Eye" and "The League Of Gentlemen"?

somrux
manipulator of the Virus
(7/9/02 3:28:10 pm)
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OH YEAH???
Well, the US (I dunno which cursed American director) is putting out a "superman VS spiderman" film. I'm not kidding here, either. And I just heard rumor that there is going to be possibly be a "Laverne and Shirley: The Movie" that'll be coming out too.

Stupid Americans! I hate how they always make crappy movies and... Wait a minute!! What am I saying; I'm American! Damn, I hate me now cuz' I slammed America and stuff. But the other side of me likes me but hates the side of me that hates me... I, ermm... who am I? Where am I?

pray for me.

-somrux.

Double Helix
manipulator of the Virus
(7/9/02 4:22:07 pm)
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Re: OH YEAH???
I think it's quite healthy to be ambivalent about your own country. It's fine to be proud of your home, but to love it to the point of being blind to it's faults isn't good.
Most times I love living in Britain, sometimes I'm ashamed of being British and very (very) occasionally I'm actually proud to be British (but don't tell anyone).

Hmm, I guess, just to keep things shallow replace any mention of a country above with (country)'s popular culture/sock colour/average arse size/whatever you want...)

Gibal Sandwich
manipulator of the Virus
(7/9/02 5:40:31 pm)
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Re: OH YEAH???
Hmm well - (he he that always cracks me up) - i think that americans deserve a big round of applause -- I mean Night Rider - The Movie - yes it is due out in 2003 and i cant wait!! HURRAY!!! NIGHT RIFER!!! The return of kit..im so happy.. Oh, and for the record - being british rocks - we get to do all sorts of stuff like... drink tea!!! AND we have newspapers full of topless women available for any passing 8 year old to buy. Also - as the story goes - we'll be able to smoke certain things legally as of tomoro...or today should i say...hehehe thats if you want and wish to endanger yourself in that way wich im totally against....yer you 'erd mother..... as for them intresting sexually arousing herbs there pedlin' at the market these days...haha - i think i have just come up with the funnyest scam the world will have seen since the word "twincest" was invented...

HAHAHA Watch what ya smoke britian or that rather unattractice girl accross or the grandmother infront might get the wrong impression...

Gibal "Im gonna be rich" Sandwich

Turtle God Kame
the chosen infected
(7/9/02 7:11:13 pm)
Reply
?
smokin pirates? hmm, whatever... but you know germans all love david hasselholf (or whatever his name is)

Go to Kame's House for assorted junk! Last upd8: 7/08/02

Kiriyama06
citizen of the Loopworld
(7/9/02 8:03:09 pm)
Reply
Re: ?
yes and mullets

Disco Supafly
the chosen infected
(7/9/02 9:58:56 pm)
Reply
Re: ?
And that GOD AWFUL industry techno music! Arrrrgghh!!! Dammit, Fritz! If you weren't making such cool cars I'd smack yo' b*tch ass up!


Errr ... and the chocolate. The chocolate is good. Hang on, I forgot Oktober fest. Mmmmmm ... licorice beer!